Where has the time gone? Jack is nearly three months old. It seems like only yesterday when Jack arrived and turned our world completely upside down.
Recently reminiscing, Pete and I remembered how our lives were in the first few weeks after having Jack and it made us realise just how far we’ve come.
In the first few weeks, as much as we loved having our new baby boy, we struggled through like two zombies with what felt like a black cloud above our heads, with the odd break in the cloud that let some sunshine through. Everyone would say to us, “Give it six weeks and you’ll come out the other side.” At the time, I used to count up to the six weeks hoping it would get that little bit easier. But the time came and went and I couldn’t understand it, I was still a zombie living in a sleep deprived state, where every day still felt like a blur and every day still felt like a huge challenge. Don’t get me wrong, the days and nights were not as hard as they were in the first few weeks, but they weren’t as easy as everyone kept making out they’d be.
Now in week 12, I’m in a completely different place. There are no longer thick clouds over my head, just the odd one here or there. I’m not as much of a zombie. I’m a (more) confident mum. I understand my little boy much, much more. I’ve managed a night out with friends. I’ve made it to a few gym classes. We have a routine. Forget 6 weeks, three (months) is the magic number.
It was this week while in the car with Jack that I felt the light bulb moment and that it had all started to fit into place, “I think we’ve done it Jack. I think we’ve cracked it. You and me we’re going to be just fine.” It felt so good.
I know every mum, baby and family is different, but I really think those text books should change from telling you things will start to slot into place at six weeks to three months. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy, but it’s a lot easier (emphasis on the er!)…
- Sleep is still broken, but not as or always broken
- The crying is still there (for Jack and me!), but not there as much
- Feeding is still what we base our days around, but it’s now every 3-4 hours rather than every 1-2
- The house is still not tidy, but it’s tidier, as tackling a chore doesn’t seem to be as much of a chore
- We seem to have experienced most scenarios together (for now anyway), so I’m more confident with how to deal with them
- I’m more confident to try different things to see if they work (they often don’t but at least it’s something else we’ve managed to rule out)
- I have more energy to face doing something each day…but not two things a day, oh not that would be pushing it!
- I still get sudden moments of panic that this little person is relying on me to keep him alive, happy and well, but it’s more like every few weeks rather than every week
- Changing nappies has become second nature, and the really bad ones don’t seem to phase us anymore…ok maybe some of them do (gag reflexes have improved!)
- “We’ve got a routine”, can be said more confidently
Basically, three months on and all of the challenges are still there but in a more diluted version, making every day much less challenging.
So if like me you’re a new mum in the thick of it thinking will it ever stop…yes I promise you it will. I do believe all babies settle into themselves and chill out more the older they get. I look back at Jack as a newborn – he’d cry when you changed his nappy, he’d cry when he was hungry, he’d cry when he was tired, he’d cry when he was bored. He still lets me know all of these things bother him, but it’s now more of a ‘grown-up grumble’ than a full on cry.
So do hold on in there and when you get there, happy three months!
I do just have to add that by the time I finished writing this we’ve had a tough couple days and nights; I didn’t make it to many coffee dates as getting out of the house was too difficult with a demanding boy, we were up most of the night trying to soothe Jack, and the crying stepped up a notch. The diagnosis? A three month growth spurt (they always catch me out) and it looks like we might have early signs of teething….maybe I should take this all back before it bites me in the bum. Perhaps four is the magic number?
Love me xxx